I unplugged this past Sunday. Purchased some marigold colored paint for our front door, stopped by my office to pick up a book or two to read and went to the movies to see Me Before You (Game of Thrones fan, love me some ‘mother of dragons’). I did not hear about the massacre at the LGBTQ club the Pulse in Orlando until almost evening.
Yesterday afternoon (Tuesday), I looked up the birthday of the deranged killer. November 16, 1986. A Scorpio Fire Tiger, was he. I have not been able to reach deep sleep since…it is 4 am as I write this blog. My certified Venus Star Point weighed in first…effing Venus Retrograde in Scorpio. I live with this.
Every 1.6 years Venus cozies up to the Earth, slows down and appears to go backwards, also known as retrograde motion. These 40 – 42 days, the Mayans (who studied the goddess of love’s movements better than any other culture), said she took the body of a man (along with the vow of chastity) and walked the Earth. She also, in the body of the man, broke those vows, walked with the dead, but at the end of the retrograde motion, she was reborn as the goddess of war. An original transgendered myth, goddess of love (female), to human male, to goddess of war, that’s one way to look at this time period.
Any soul born during this time is mandated to create their own values. Venus retrograde souls are required to go against social, cultural and, yes religious mores to figure out what (and who) truly matters to them, from the inside out. It is as if they are laced with a drink of divine discontent. Nothing or no one outside of themselves will ever fulfill this hunger, this need to determine internally what matters to them, personally. Remember, the goddess takes the form of a man, that is, divine is made human. There has to be an integration of the human and divine, the profane and the spiritual. To say that a Venus Retrograde soul carries a burden of being misunderstood is an understatement. To say that these individuals are socially awkward is kind. They hear their own music. (Muhammed Ali had Venus retrograde.)
The need for Omar to fit in and belong while simultaneously repelling any deep relationship is evidenced through an exact Sun and Mars square from Scorpio to Aquarius at the 24th degree. The 90 degree angle (square) causes conflict much like two children who both demand your attention at the same time. The Sun (a legacy we get from our fathers, be they biological or heavenly, hello Allah and Jehovah) gives us our hearts, and in Scorpio, our hearts want a profound emotional and soul filled relationship with another human being, regardless of gender. It is a secretly rebellious and when betrayed, dangerous sign. Mars in Aquarius, in its shadow, can be exactly what the world witnessed this past weekend, violent, disassociated from any fellow feeling, acting out the part of social deviant, needing love, yet not taking the time to let it grow.
For the next two weeks, because of Mars’ motion in Scorpio he will be located at the 24th degree of Scorpio, activating Omar’s Sun (identity) and challenging his Mars also at the 24th degree, but in Aquarius. His having been born under a retrograde Venus in Scorpio, his legacy would include the Cuban Missile Crisis and the Jim Jones suicide where almost one thousand souls drank poisoned Kool-Aid. That’s the kind of destruction that a resentful and lonely Scorpio can wreak. Understand that when there is no deep bond based upon transparency and mutual vulnerability, Scorpio can destroy everything and everyone they touch.
When I heard that he beat his wife (rejection of the feminine, hello, Venus retrograde) and the father’s projection of his being upset ‘at the sight of two men kissing’, I knew that he would have a case of internalized homophobia aka a ‘closet case’. Personally, I feel almost all men who hit women have problems with their alleged heterosexuality and the heteronormative discourse. Heterosexual women have more sexual privilege than men. Ask Katy Perry and her ‘kissing a girl’. One sexual 'transgression' for women does not usually label them lesbian, but this still is not the case with men.
Omar deeply desired an open relationship that would be accepted by his community. As long as he did not psychologically deconstruct his internalized homophobia, one of his deepest desires would continually be out of his reach. Here lies the tragedy of a retrograde Venus, unmet needs, and in Scorpio, these would be magnified threefold. The men who could openly display affection would anger him. He could attract (Venus in Scorpio retrograde conjunct passionate and transformative Pluto), but he could not maintain (Mars in Aquarius would show outbursts of violence and mental instability). His unexamined square between Scorpio and Aquarius exhibited itself in the most extreme way on Sunday. He wanted a profound and an intense relationship, but the Mars (how we assert our sexual energies) in Aquarius would use selfies and dating apps in order to secure any relationship. Scorpio would be the most powerful drive, yet, suppress Mars...and, you get war, murder, abuse and rape.
He was born with Saturn in Sagittarius. This illustrates a fear of those who are different from him on religious, racial or ethnic grounds. He was going through his Saturn return which would have ended in September of this year. Translation: Saturn demands at his first return to where he was when you were born an acceptance of your adult role in your chosen community. In Sagittarius, the fire sign with a transpersonal orientation, Saturn says you are a planetary citizen and you must behave as such. Saturn also transmits a legacy from the conditional loving parent (usually the father), and in Omar’s case, his father (again, biological and heavenly) created a disassociated repressed being.
Whenever there is violence, there is Mars. You have to see yourself as separate from others into to dominate, maim or kill. Whenever our warrior energy falls in the air element (Gemini, Libra or Aquarius), there can be a disassociation between thought and action. One presumes to be more reasonable or smarter than others. And, when Mars is in Aquarius the battle is on between the past (Saturn) and the future (Uranus) or in Omar’s case his heterosexual world (Saturn and the role of father) and his homosexual world (Uranus). Add in a retrograde Venus (values that run counter to the status quo), and there is hell to pay. Not to mention being born on the 16th day, in Numerology this number is said to have intense challenges in love relationships.
Sigh, I could not sleep until this poured out of me. Mars does not start to move again at the 24th degree of Scorpio until June 29. He does not begin to cover any new ground until August 22. For the next couple of months all of us must dig deep into understanding ourselves in relationship to others. Where there is intensity of feeling, there is karma. And, karma is a deep well. Take your time. Listen before you speak. Realize that the extremes of opinion are being brought to the surface and into the light, so that they can be transformed from fear to love. We are living at an intersection of separation and unification. If you do not know yourself and what motivates you (and being willing to speak up to live your truth), you cannot truly unite with others. Is it an easy process, this self-knowing and self-expressing? No. However, I say, know when to unplug and go see Me Before You.